You Can’t Let Him Go

You Can’t Let Him Go

It doesn’t start this way. In the beginning, he may not change his mind.

But somewhere along the way, something changes.

When he pulls back and becomes emotionally unavailable, we need to do something, anything, but sit there and watch him slip away from us.

He promised a lot. We didn’t think this would happen.

It was not like this before. Along the way, it happened. He was trying to get the attention. We decided to look over in his direction and see him as well. We think it must be the real thing if he keeps chasing after us.

For many blissful days, weeks, or months, we live that fairy tale that became our reality.

Until the non-fairy reality starts to show up.

We start to realize that something feels different.

You can sense that nothing has changed. He now comes and goes, along with the feeling that comes and goes.

You want to believe him when he says that everything is the same. You try.

But you can’t.

There is a sense of knowing what you know, that you are not crazy, and that something isn’t right. It’s not like that.

You do always know.

It begins. The chase This time it’s you chasing him, not him. We don’t call it that and we don’t realize we’re doing it.

But we are.

We want to get it back. We don’t know what it is because we can’t quite put a finger on it. We want it to be the way it was.

If we could only break it down into smaller pieces, we would be able to see what it really is, that part of ourselves that we never quite had, that part of us that we haven’t yet been able to find.

It was in the mirror that we saw ourselves for the first time. We didn’t have that on our own. We never had a passion for it. We didn’t think we had permission to hold it.

Our lives are never the same again after we see that glimpse.

It’s why the chase begins.

He didn’t deliver. He thought he could do it. He is big on the chase, but not so much on the delivery.

That was how you got here. No man has land.

He opened you up to a whole new way of looking at yourself, but without him there, you don’t know where to go. We go to the only place we can. To him.

We try everything we can.

Even though we can’t, we make promises to ourselves and to him. We are what he wants us to be. More knowledge.

He is checked on by his family and friends. We try to figure out what we missed, what we can try again, and what we can do to make it better.

We give him as much space as we can. We try to show him how much we’ve changed and how much he wanted us to be.

This is how we chase him.

It is not enough. For him or you.

It is not your place to chase and it is not his place to be chased.

He doesn’t want to be chased.

Let him be himself for a moment. The chase is about you. You are not the kind of person who chases. It isn’t good to either of you. It’s why it doesn’t work.

There is something else in this place.

Remember the mirror? If only for a glimpse in time, the one he held up to you so you could see yourself in the light?

We had to chase after him to try to get him back. To get it back to what it was before.

To get the piece that was missing in you. You were able to see yourself through the eyes of someone who had seen something special in you.

You had what he wanted. Something made him want to be with you. He was given a reason to be different, at least for a while. Not quite.

The rest of the deal was not delivered by him. The part beyond attraction. There is a part that involves a relationship.

You can’t get him there because it’s within himself.

You and him are the same. He thinks it is someone else. Just like that.

He thinks it will rub off on him if he is around you. It will rub off on you as well.

The real thing isn’t outside of us but within. If he has never been comfortable with commitment before, he has to do his own work.

You have to do your own work and be comfortable in your own skin without someone doing it for you.

There was something to that mirror when he showed you the reflection. You have to go back to the way it was before him. You can’t just let it go because you know more about yourself.

And that’s why you can’t let him go.

You need him, or so you think.

It’s why you feel lost. You wonder if you’re even there without him holding the mirror.

We are in a lost place. We face the person who can pour all this energy romantic things to do for your husband into us. It is how we find our way.

The chase to get him back is meant for us, and we begin by taking all the energy we want to give to it.

So stop chasing him. Start chasing you instead.

Go chase your dreams.

Go after your hopes, your desires, and your longings.

Chase your life.

To the ends of the earth. You have to go to that place to find yourself.

You will recognize yourself in those places. It is what you will see for yourself, not someone else’s reflection. You will be holding the mirror.

That is more valuable than anything he could have done.

Have you ever been caught up in the chase trying to get things back to normal? Tell your story in the comments.

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